As I run through the raindrops to the car (mustn't mess the careful prepared "do") I realize he has brought "The 'Vette". Now there are a couple things that all my many men (HA!) have had in common...One, emotionally unavailable (whoops, this is supposed to be funny right?) two, generally shorter than me and three, really nice cars. Now I don't intentionally seek out any of those things they just seem to happen. Aside from the first one (the unfunny one) the other two don't really bother me. I would like a man to be taller so that I don't feel like Godzilla but I'm pretty used to being taller than most, so I got over that. The car thing is pretty funny I've dated Porshe man, Alfa Romeo man, NSX man, Mercedes man and now Corvette man.
I get into the car and I'm told that I should be suitably impressed because "she's from Vegas and has never been driven in the rain" Who?? Is there a girl in the back seat (wait no back seat) I didn't see? Ohhhh the car. So knowing I'm supposed to take an interest in what they're interested in I make suitable thankful noises. I'll admit that I don't get that whole be interested in what they're interested in thing totally. I mean if I waxed poetic about how I chose my hair color "just for him" would he care? Make those same suitable thankful noises? I think not.
So we drive to a local restaurant and take a seat in the bar. The thought being there, we call it "a drink" and if all goes well, we have dinner. So there are about six TVs in the bar and immediately I notice it will be difficult for him to focus on me with all that going on. Sigh, a football man. Alright well no one is perfect soldier on. So we start to awkwardly talk (remember we have been texting VERY flirtatiously for about two weeks) and ask each other questions.
So I read a lot and ask about that....what?? He hasn't read a book since high school? Ohhhh that's not good. Okay again no one is perfect and he is very cute. Okay ask about his kids. Ahhhh, a smile and animation...very good. Even cuter! Well maybe the whole football no reading thing is okay. RRRRRIIIIINNNNGGGGG! His cell...surely he won't answer. Whoops surely he will. It's the ex wife. Okay well they have kids together he has to answer...right? Alright that was brief no problem. We get drinks and an appetizer and continue to talk.
Yup, he's pretty cute and getting cuter with my second Margarita. Sure he wore jeans and a sweatshirt but that's just a man thing. We're smiling, we're talking...all is good. He's still cute.....RRRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGG! His cell...his ex wife. Hmmmm, calling to tell him it's snowing where they are...okay. Hmmmm. So we leave and take a drive in the fast car. Maybe not a smart thing to do but I'm at a bit of a loss what to do now. Plus I would like to get him away from the TVs.
So we take a drive and he shows me the house he used to live in, drive along the Kirkland waterfront, talk some more...okay this is better. We end up in another bar with more TVs, sigh. Again no eye contact. RRRRRRRRIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGG! Now I wonder who that is? The ex wife saying the kids want to say goodnight. Okay that's fine right? It's pretty cute...right? So he hangs up and I ask how long they've been separated (yes I knew they weren't quite divorced)....less than a month?? When did he sign up on Match? The next day? Ohhhhhh. That's not good. Soon we leave, I get a hug and I'm home.
Now....what do I think of that? I'll sleep on it.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Preparations
Oh @#%&! What was I thinking? I haven't been on a blind date in over two years and that one just about gave me a nervous breakdown! I had to go out and buy a new dress, shoes and make sure my hair was perfect. Plus I drove to Southern California for that one. I think I made my friend Mary a little nuts. I know you can't pace in a car but whatever it was that I was doing was the equivalent. I am too tall, too fat, too old? Again were the pictures I sent too good? A friend told me to make sure I told him I wasn't a "California Girl". Huh? Was that some kind of remark on my appearance? Can I lose twenty pounds in a week?
All right calm yourself and think. Okay I mostly wear glasses but the pic I posted shows me with contacts, find them...okay done. Now the picture only shows my head. How can I camouflage my butt? Can I lose twenty pounds in a week? No that didn't work before it won't now. I did say a "few extra pounds" in my profile. Was that the right choice? Should I have said "curvy"? "Heavyset" no that's not right...is it? Where were the "Lush" "Zaftig" and "Several extra pounds" choices when I needed them??
Alright...shop! I hate shopping. Need some black pants, new shirt, shoes and bra? Bra?? Noooo better not do that, that's inviting trouble. But I have too! Dog training only requires sports bras and those are NOT very flattering. Okay well just don't think about it that way. That will bring up a whole new set of neurosis. Shave legs? Nooooo don't do that. But what if I cross my legs and he can see? Okay only to the knee...that's all right? Right?
STOP! It's just a date I might not like him he might not like me. Still no reason to look ugly...right? Okay dressed....ready to go....fortified with a Margarita...gonna throw up. Wait is that a new zit? Noooooooooooooooo! Oh shoot he's at the door. Why the heck didn't I meet him somewhere? He could be a serial killer! Is there time to back out?
Just breathe and open the door.........Hi!
All right calm yourself and think. Okay I mostly wear glasses but the pic I posted shows me with contacts, find them...okay done. Now the picture only shows my head. How can I camouflage my butt? Can I lose twenty pounds in a week? No that didn't work before it won't now. I did say a "few extra pounds" in my profile. Was that the right choice? Should I have said "curvy"? "Heavyset" no that's not right...is it? Where were the "Lush" "Zaftig" and "Several extra pounds" choices when I needed them??
Alright...shop! I hate shopping. Need some black pants, new shirt, shoes and bra? Bra?? Noooo better not do that, that's inviting trouble. But I have too! Dog training only requires sports bras and those are NOT very flattering. Okay well just don't think about it that way. That will bring up a whole new set of neurosis. Shave legs? Nooooo don't do that. But what if I cross my legs and he can see? Okay only to the knee...that's all right? Right?
STOP! It's just a date I might not like him he might not like me. Still no reason to look ugly...right? Okay dressed....ready to go....fortified with a Margarita...gonna throw up. Wait is that a new zit? Noooooooooooooooo! Oh shoot he's at the door. Why the heck didn't I meet him somewhere? He could be a serial killer! Is there time to back out?
Just breathe and open the door.........Hi!
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Conversation
Oh no! The cute guy emailed me back! I was just...just...kidding? What was I thinking? Okay calm down it's just a freakin' email idiot. Alright what's this? What do I do? That's easy.....what do I do for fun? Crap! I'm poor nothing absolutely nothing. Okay must make self sound sort of interesting...okay that's good. Okay ask about his daughter....ohhhhh?? What's this?? Is he flirting with me? Hmmmmm...
Oh he's really good at this very flirty and fun :) I'm liking this. A little back story might be helpful. I just recently broke up with a man who was a long distance relationship and all we really did for two years was email and text so this is all very familiar to me. I can feel myself sliding back into this familiar territory. What was that he said? Ohhhh that's a bit more than flirty. I'd say downright frisky:) Still kind of liking it. Should I? Does that make me a weirdo? Ahhh heck with it I'm going to roll with it. Okay buddy back at you with this! What you want my phone number??? Oh @%*$ !!!!
Ohhhh to text. Okay. Wow he upped his texts for me! Wow! Again is this a little strange? Probably but who said the first guy has to be anything but fun right? Rebound that's what it is nothing strange about that....right? Okay so the fact that we've sent many texts to each other isn't weird....okay maybe it is but still kind of liking it. RRRRIIIIINNNNNNGGGG! Oh no he's calling! He wants to meet! What day? Okay it's a date.
What will I wear and what the hell did I say in all those texts?
Oh he's really good at this very flirty and fun :) I'm liking this. A little back story might be helpful. I just recently broke up with a man who was a long distance relationship and all we really did for two years was email and text so this is all very familiar to me. I can feel myself sliding back into this familiar territory. What was that he said? Ohhhh that's a bit more than flirty. I'd say downright frisky:) Still kind of liking it. Should I? Does that make me a weirdo? Ahhh heck with it I'm going to roll with it. Okay buddy back at you with this! What you want my phone number??? Oh @%*$ !!!!
Ohhhh to text. Okay. Wow he upped his texts for me! Wow! Again is this a little strange? Probably but who said the first guy has to be anything but fun right? Rebound that's what it is nothing strange about that....right? Okay so the fact that we've sent many texts to each other isn't weird....okay maybe it is but still kind of liking it. RRRRIIIIINNNNNNGGGG! Oh no he's calling! He wants to meet! What day? Okay it's a date.
What will I wear and what the hell did I say in all those texts?
Monday, November 27, 2006
Winking
Okay so I've never really "dated" I've had one significant relationship after another. So this talk to a whole bunch of guys at once makes me feel like I'm doing something vaguely wrong. Like I'm a "Match" slut. I spoke to a friend who has done this before and he told me to knock it off and that I should have "dated" long ago. Okay..
First day I perused all the men within 50 miles of me. You're supposed to find the ones who interest you and "wink" at them. Almost immediately the winks starting flying in for me. Now I was never a guy magnet. I had a roommate who was a magnet I lived with in my twenties and I was always amazed. But now? I'm popular!! Look at me They want me, woo hoo! Wait...all they can see is my head...why do they want me? Hmmmm this is interesting and disturbing all at the same time.
Some were cute...that's good. Some seemed interesting...also good. What's this I'm this man's "life partner" and "God's Dove"...huh? More like Satan's Turkey, I'd say. What the...? Ohhhh this guy wants to clean my house while I watch? Yeuuw! Oh no a man with a picture that looks like it was taken in his parents basement where he's been playing dungeons and dragons for the past twenty years. Complete with black light posters! He wants me to dominate him, double yeuuuw.
Okay maybe I'll try the winking thing myself. Here's one Pretty cute with a picture with his four year old. Seems normal, taller than me, about the same age and close. Okay what the hell..wink!
Wonder what will happen?
First day I perused all the men within 50 miles of me. You're supposed to find the ones who interest you and "wink" at them. Almost immediately the winks starting flying in for me. Now I was never a guy magnet. I had a roommate who was a magnet I lived with in my twenties and I was always amazed. But now? I'm popular!! Look at me They want me, woo hoo! Wait...all they can see is my head...why do they want me? Hmmmm this is interesting and disturbing all at the same time.
Some were cute...that's good. Some seemed interesting...also good. What's this I'm this man's "life partner" and "God's Dove"...huh? More like Satan's Turkey, I'd say. What the...? Ohhhh this guy wants to clean my house while I watch? Yeuuw! Oh no a man with a picture that looks like it was taken in his parents basement where he's been playing dungeons and dragons for the past twenty years. Complete with black light posters! He wants me to dominate him, double yeuuuw.
Okay maybe I'll try the winking thing myself. Here's one Pretty cute with a picture with his four year old. Seems normal, taller than me, about the same age and close. Okay what the hell..wink!
Wonder what will happen?
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Getting started
Getting started
Okay so I am a 39 year old single woman. I have had two significant relationships in my adult lifetime. One that lasted all through my twenties and destined to go nowhere, but was fun. And most recently another that I was kind of sorry to see go. It was long distance and I considered making it short distance but the other person just "wasn't that into me". I figured the only way to get over one is to replace it with another...better one:) Therefore I joined Match.com.
About a month ago my roommate and I drank a wee bit too much wine. In a slightly loopy mood (okay drunken) I logged on, gave my credit card number and joined. Oh shoot now what? I have to put up a picture, tell about myself, describe my date?? Okay...
Step One: The picture
Who would have though adding a simple picture would be so difficult? Here's a little taste of how my brain works (and possibly an explanation of why I'm still single:) So you have to have a picture...but which one? Not one too good, that's too much to live up to and quite possibly false advertising. But then again not too bad or no one will email you. So I show everyone I know pictures and ask the question which one?? Get twenty different answers...not so helpful. So I just choose and get "Oh you picked that one?" "Why is it bad, too good what??" "No I'm sure it's fine" Oh crap. Alright well it's up a slightly idealized version of me but not too idealized... I hope.
Step Two: About me
Now I have to write a little blurb about me. So I hide my profile and do a little competition reconnaissance. The women talk about being honest, loving and "real". Am I real? Hmmmm, I think so. Their pictures are softly fuzzed beauty shots, mine is one of those hold up the camera in front of you and smile deals. Alright I will buck the trend and be my slightly sarcastic, not too serious snarky self. No talk of walks on the beach, five seconds later I'm done.
Step Three: My date
Now I have to choose the criteria I expect from my date. Eyes, check gotta have those. Ohhh color. Doesn't matter same for hair. Height....here's what I've found men under six feet ALWAYS lie about their height! I'm tall and they still lie! Like I'm not going to figure it out. I don't care...really but jeez when you say you're six foot and I'm looking at your bald spot, puhleeze. Weight again hmmmm I'm a bit chubby right now do I have the right to say "athletic and toned" when I'm not? Nah don't really care about that either. Okay a few more and save!
Wonder what will happen?
Okay so I am a 39 year old single woman. I have had two significant relationships in my adult lifetime. One that lasted all through my twenties and destined to go nowhere, but was fun. And most recently another that I was kind of sorry to see go. It was long distance and I considered making it short distance but the other person just "wasn't that into me". I figured the only way to get over one is to replace it with another...better one:) Therefore I joined Match.com.
About a month ago my roommate and I drank a wee bit too much wine. In a slightly loopy mood (okay drunken) I logged on, gave my credit card number and joined. Oh shoot now what? I have to put up a picture, tell about myself, describe my date?? Okay...
Step One: The picture
Who would have though adding a simple picture would be so difficult? Here's a little taste of how my brain works (and possibly an explanation of why I'm still single:) So you have to have a picture...but which one? Not one too good, that's too much to live up to and quite possibly false advertising. But then again not too bad or no one will email you. So I show everyone I know pictures and ask the question which one?? Get twenty different answers...not so helpful. So I just choose and get "Oh you picked that one?" "Why is it bad, too good what??" "No I'm sure it's fine" Oh crap. Alright well it's up a slightly idealized version of me but not too idealized... I hope.
Step Two: About me
Now I have to write a little blurb about me. So I hide my profile and do a little competition reconnaissance. The women talk about being honest, loving and "real". Am I real? Hmmmm, I think so. Their pictures are softly fuzzed beauty shots, mine is one of those hold up the camera in front of you and smile deals. Alright I will buck the trend and be my slightly sarcastic, not too serious snarky self. No talk of walks on the beach, five seconds later I'm done.
Step Three: My date
Now I have to choose the criteria I expect from my date. Eyes, check gotta have those. Ohhh color. Doesn't matter same for hair. Height....here's what I've found men under six feet ALWAYS lie about their height! I'm tall and they still lie! Like I'm not going to figure it out. I don't care...really but jeez when you say you're six foot and I'm looking at your bald spot, puhleeze. Weight again hmmmm I'm a bit chubby right now do I have the right to say "athletic and toned" when I'm not? Nah don't really care about that either. Okay a few more and save!
Wonder what will happen?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)