Mr. Cranky Pants

So yes the date with Harry Potter went well but I've put all my eggs in one basket before and lived to regret it. So while I was talking to the Cute One, The Librarian and Harry Potter, I was also talking to the Construction guy.

He is 42, blond, well-built and divorced (really truely!) with a 14 year old living east of the mountains. I really can't remember if I winked or he did but we were having some email conversation. He seemed very sweet and sensitive. After a period of time we exchanged IM ID's and phone numbers.

So our first conversation was a bit stilted. He did say he is very shy so I spent a lot of time pulling information out of him. I asked about his experience on Match. He told me he went out with one woman and she ended up stalking him....huh? Really? He has a restraining order...really? Huh! She keyed his car? Huh! She drives past his house? Huh? And on and on and on.

So sensing his irritation level is going up I ask about his daughter. She's 14, he loves her and she lives east of the mountains. Okay good so far.....he hates his ex-wife....really? Huh! She keeps his daughter from him...really? Huh? She can't make a decision to save her soul? Huh! She procrastinates....hmmm okay? Ummmm I make up an excuse and end the call. Okay so maybe he's in a bad mood?? We talk the next night and the same thing. So not really enjoying talking to him I kind of back off. I'm allowed to do this right? I haven't even met the man....right?

He emails and tells me he knows I'm online because it says so and why am I not answering him ?(Match shows when you're online...a bit irritating) I email back and tell him I was online only briefly. Later I hide my profile (you can do this so people don't know you've checked them out) and forget to turn it back on. Whamo! He sends me an email says I've hidden my profile so I must have found Mr. Right...good luck. I email back and say .......no just forgot to turn it on. So he persists and asks about a date and I give in thinking maybe in person he'll be more cheeerful?? I throw out a couple of dates and he can't make a decision. Finally he says this Match thing isn't working for him and I say "okay and bye-bye". After a few more attempts on his part to contact me he gives up.

So let's get this straight he got stalked, hates procastinators and people who can't make a decision?? Isn't that what he did to me? Sigh.....okay well there's a new guy I'll try....... Banjo Boy!

Harry Potter

So onward and forward.... While I was considering the librarian I was also talking to.... Harry Potter. Or maybe Ghandi? John Lennon? Okay a guy with little round glasses. He wasn't inundating me with emails, he easily agreed to the date I chose, he didn't immediately ask for my phone number (hello boys supposed to be anonymous!) and he chose the place to meet. Wasn't wishy washy and indecisive. Here is his first contact...

Hello Puppy Gal,You sound more like a chameleon than a human, and that's good, I like chameleons. Actually I find your picture attractive, and your profile short and um ... quirky? It's good, I like it. I hope you like mine as well, and I hope to hear from you. And yes, I do like dogs, my place is a regular hangout for the neighborhood gang of four dogs (Chloe, Zeke, Tough, and Ball).

Puppy Gal is my chosen handle. So short sweet and to the point all good. So we agreed to meet on a Saturday night. I dressed in my "Match" uniform and headed off into the night. Now another tactic I use is to get there before they do so I don't have to do that walk across the room, eyes searching for someone, anyone who resembles that fuzzy picture they posted. Usually a cut off job with a female hand or a bit of hair sticking out from one side...a tiny remnant of the past.

I seat myself facing the door and wait. "Is that him?" no too short...."Wait is that him?" no too young....Finally he comes in. He is just as tall as he said...yippeeee! So he stops and says my name, I answer yes and he says "You look nothing like the picture you posted" Oh %$#@ what does that mean?? Is that good? Or bad?? I knew I should have chosen a different picture!! So I ask "Is that good or bad?" He says "Oh no it's good! You're fine! I mean...you know you're fine. Oh crap" I may be a mean mean woman but his discomfort makes me more comfortable.

We have a drink and since all goes well move on to dinner. Now I am a fine hearty eater in most cases but on first dates I become daterexic...can't eat. But I also know if I don't eat he won't feel comfortable eating. So I order a salad and pick. He's very nice, doesn't stare at my boobs, ends the date at a comfortable point, gives me a hug and asks me out again. "Sure!" I say, thinking "Wow a second date. Huh!" We walk out and I see him get into his Porshe Boxster...sigh the pattern continues...

I wonder what will happen?

The Librarian

Okay so while I was swooning disgustingly with the cute one, I was also talking to the librarian. Really he is. Or rather becoming one. Such an opposite of the cute one. Well read, politically in line with me and obviously very well educated. It takes a lot of school to be a librarian. In between flirty texts I had had a couple of phone conversations with him.

Honestly I had two reservations....one, it was hard to get a word in edgewise with this guy. Now I'll admit one of my greatest faults in life is interrupting people and talking too much but this guy made me seem quiet by comparison. Well...maybe he babbles when nervous?? The second reservation was a little embarrassing.... I knew a man who worked in the same mall I did several years back. He was so very nice, HIV positive and a former "Miss Florida" in other words a big old flaming drag queen. I loved him! But never had an urge to date him. The librarian?? Sounds just like him. Is this something I can deal with?? We make a date and I resolve to give it a shot.

So the date is the same day as the Apple cup. Alas the librarian is a huge Husky fan and must watch the game to the bitter end. So we make plans to meet around 8:00 that night. He will come straight from the game. I put on what I now consider my "Match" uniform (hey I paid good money for it, why not use it?) and go to the same bar, the same table to wait. After the waiter takes my drink order I realize I must look like a prostitute. Different men very week? Alas not a very good one...I never even got a birthday present.

Okay so first off he shows up a half hour late, not so good I'm a stickler for time...don't waste mine. Then he's wearing a sweatshirt with the arms cut off and pants that look like he painted his kitchen in them. Also not good. I mean I realize he was watching a game but would it have killed him to bring a different shirt?? Okay let that go Miss Match.

So we talk and he is still well read and interesting...very good....but what's he doing?? Is he....??? Nah, couldn't be...holy @#%* he is! The man is alternating between long looks at a game on the TV's (note to self find a bar with out TVs) to long looks at my boobs! What?? Okay so I pull my shirt closed. Nope that just drew more attention to them. He cannot seem to get his eyes up. Hello!! Up here! Oh wait now it's the TV again, now boobs, now TV, now boobs......grrrrrr!

Alrighty time to invoke the "I've got to get up early excuse" and get the hell away. Lesson learned drag queen voice doesn't necessary mean gay but may very well mean annoying boob watcher. So now there is a guy with Harry Potter glasses wonder what he's up to next weekend??

Sunday morning Quarterbacking

Yes, considering the unintentional and unwanted "theme" of the date I thought the quarterbacking term was appropriate. Okay so what do I think of what just happened? Hmmmm, yes he's still cute. Yes, he was fun to talk to. Yes, we definitely had chemistry on the phone, in texts and in emails. But what about in person?

I have a history of kind of just falling into relationships. The first time I went out with my twenty something boyfriend I came home and told my roommate "Yeah, he was nice but I don't think I'll go out with him again." That was when I was 22 and I ended up dating him on and off until I was 32. Why? Because he asked again...and again...and again. The next significant relationship I had I thought of reasons monthly why it wasn't going to work and vowed monthly not to continue it. But did. Why? Because I liked him a lot and kind of just ignored that still small voice (my mother's term)that told me to knock it off.

Okay so what about this one? The inattention football thing? Annoying but typical. The no reading since high school thing? Borderline dealbreaker. The ex wife thing? Probably a huge red flag waving right in front of my face. The not "quite" divorced yet thing? Shows this man is just not available. So just stop Miss Match. But he was cute! Just stop!

Okay so raised to be polite and mannerly to a fault I email and say "Thank you for the good time" and nothing.... not a peep....huh? After all those texts nothing? I'm ticked off for a couple of days until I realize..

1) I'm ticked because I hate the fact that he made the decision not to continue the conversation when I was thinking the same thing. Kind of an immature "I'm sorry you dumped me, I wanted to dump you first" thing.

and...

2) I was comfortable with how it was going because it was just a continuation of the relationship that just ended. It was easy and familiar.

Okay sometimes self-awareness is slightly uncomfortable but good. Okay I've been talking to this other guy too. Let's try this again.......